Is English really mandatory? – II

Yesterday we talked about a few examples of atrocious language, in India, specifically in the State of Gujarat.

Here are a few more over the world:

Cocktail lounge, Norway:
Ladies are Requested Not to have Children in the Bar

At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS.
If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty

Hotel, Acapulco:
The Manager has Personally Passed All the Water Served Here

Car rental brochure, Tokyo:
“When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.
Trumpet him melodiously at first,
but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.”

In a Nairobi restaurant:
Customers who find our waitresses rude
ought to see the manager.

On the grounds of a private school:
NO TRESPASSING without permission.

On an Athi River highway:
TAKE NOTICE: When this sign is under water,
this road is impassable.

One of the Mathare buildings:
Mental Health Prevention Centre

In a cemetery:
Persons are PROHIBITED from picking flowers
from any but their own graves.

Tokyo hotel’s rules and regulations:
Guests are requested NOT to smoke
or do other disgusting behaviors in bed.

Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
The life is being fixed for the next day.
During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

Hotel elevator, Paris:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

Hotel, Japan:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

Supermarket, Hong Kong:
For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.

From the Soviet Weekly:
“There will be a Moscow exhibition of the arts by
15,000 Soviet Republic Painters and Sculptors.
These were executed over the past two years.”

In an East African newspaper:
“A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the
contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.”

Hotel, Vienna:
In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.

A sign posted in Germany’s Black Forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site
that people of different sex, for instance, men and
women, live together in one tent unless they are
married with each other for that purpose.

Hotel, Zurich:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests
of the opposite sex in the bedroom,
is it suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

A laundry in Rome:
Ladies, leave your clothes here
and spend the afternoon having a good time.

The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.

In a Swiss mountain inn:
SPECIAL TODAY – NO ICE-CREAM.

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.

One may find “humour” in this, but not I. When we talk about languages, everything matters, from a word to grammar, and a comma to a full-stop.